it's only life

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It's been tough. It's hard to accept things that you really didn't expect to happen to you. I've become open to the idea of open relationships and polygamy because I truly believe human beings are not meant for monogamy. We're too complex. Too...dependent. The idea of marriage has become more faulty and confusing these days (thanks to my professors). And now i'm really forming my opinion on marriage. This past semester I've been so accepting of open relationships/polygamy and I knew from the start I wasn't really into it myself, but I understood why some people would want it and why I think many human beings should consider it. I think one topic that needs to be discussed is cheating. Knowing this above information, how would I view cheating? I think cheating is the perfect example of human beings not being able to be with one person forever and not being communicative. This explanation isn't for the assholes who want to hurt people or who just did it for fun. It's for those who have been in marriages for a very long time or those who have found another soulmate on accident (we definitely have 1+ soulmates) or other examples that I can't think of. Human beings are one of the only animals that actually follow through with monogamy and it's pretty insane. If you've actually thought about marriage and the whole "forever" thing, you know what I'm talking about.
I like to think my future partner and I will be very communicative, to the point where if one of us wants to branch out (have more partners), we'd tell one another, instead of being sneaky. That's the kind of relationship I want. The kind where you're so comfortable in discussing anything because that's what makes relationships last. Our society lacks in having the ability to communicate how we feel and what we want our family, friends, and partners. That's an important factor in why divorce rates are so high, too. People give up easily. People don't want to try, don't want to COMMUNICATE.
I haven't been in a relationship, but I definitely feel like I will be well prepared for what would come because of how much I think and how much I've learned these past two years. Look, for those in relationships, out of one, will be in one, never has been in one, I know my advice isn't very reliable due to the fact that i've never in a relationship, but honestly there are two things that will make your companionship better: communication and comfortable with sex. I'm telling you if you can perfect those two, your relationship will last longer than many others.

so says i

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just a month ago, i talked about how i feel stressed and was having an existential crisis, even though i'm still young. i was also calling myself  "not an adult", but my friend (sarita) made me a realize something and i just read through that post again (here it is if you're interested)....i am an adult. i am. a young one, but still am. i live on my own, i pay own bills, i pay my own rent, pay for my food, pay for whatever shows i want to go to,  I PAY FOR EVERYTHING (besides my phone bill and a few things here and there). i think when i was writing that post, i was refusing to accept that i'm getting older. i was refusing to accept the term "adult" in my life. but it's pretty silly of me to do that, eventually i'll have to accept that and i kind of do now???  i realize that "adult" doesn't mean boring or wrinkles or like 40 lol, it just means you're independently living (i mean i think???? what does 'adult' even meaaaaannnnn!!!!!). anyways, i just wanted to share, yes i'm an adult, but still am 12 years old and do stupid things. here's a few pictures of my friends and i doing dumb things or lookin dumb because clearly i take myself seriously:

GALENTINE'S 2017

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so galentine's was a liiiil late this year because it was (officially) on a tuesday!! with our schedules, i definitely couldn't plan it on a weekday, but anyways this year's theme was: ART PIECE. i wanted it to be a little different from the years before and thought this would be a cool/fun idea!! everyone tried their best and looked vvvvery cute. i frickiiinnn kept forgetting to take pictures so i only have these, btu at least i got everyone's looks.
we also made our own pizzas thanks to saritttaaaa and they turned out really good!!! overall, it was fun and i appreciate all of my beautiful friends for participating :-)
here's all the side-by-sides:

betelgeuse

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i just finally watched beetlejuice, even though i've seen it like three times, but EVERY TIME i don't pay attention. anyways, i really love winona ryder's outfits in it so here's a bit of halloween inspo. also the musical scenes are the best things ever.

getmeawayfromhere,imdying

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Appreciating the little things makes life a lot better. You start to look around and feel happier because you may realize some things you didn't before.
The day before my birthday, a parent came up to me during work and told me happy early birthday and I don't know why I felt so happy and it made me feel so good!!! Like, I have no idea how he found out, but I don't care because he took a second to just tell me that. It's really small, but I just felt really warm and really appreciated his sincerity.

I've been trying to be more positive daily, even though this semester of school and work has been much tougher than my last, and it's only week three. i just feel a lot of pressure and it's not fun. although, i am trying to look on the brighter side and not be so down. i'm lucky that i'm able to really control my feelings. because i think i have two brains, i can feel myself getting sad or feeling really happy. i think that's why i'm able to be so positive, sometimes, and be able to change my mood if i want to. obviously, i do have my days where i just am having a funk and don't want to talk to anybody, but those days aren't as often as my others. so when i'm feeling down, i just remember what i love and remember the feeling of happiness and, well, feel it. i don't know it's weird to feel the emotion as it's happening, but it's a nice reminder.
anyways, i wanted to share songs that make me really happy at the moment. notes on the playlist:

  • here's the link to it on spotify
  • the title isn't my feelings, it's just another Belle and Sebastian song that i really love because i'm real into them right now, and they're slowly creeping into my favorite band of all time list
  • Post Animal's guitarist is actually Steve from Stranger Things
  • The Shins played this song on Gilmore Girls and i was like WHAAAAAT
  • Father John Misty is THE man
  • also you may have seen this pic on my instagram lol
  • hope u guys are doing well!!! =^^=


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