i read this quote in rookie and resonated with it. i have two homes, but never really thought of my mind as 'home'. and it's actually true and real. my mind is my home and i dont know if i like that idea.
if you know me, you know i always say i have two brains. my two brains and i. one brain is the one that speaks and the other brain is the one that analyzes (my first brain is my favorite). i've gotten weird/confused looks when i tell people i think i have two brains and it makes me feel kind of insecure, but i get it.
anyways, yeah i've got two brains. for example, let's take a normal conversation, like this:
"Hey! Wanna hang out today?"
"Ugh, no sorry, I can't!"
"Oh, okay!"
Normal. No substance. Simple. - That's how my first brain thinks.
But with my second, god, is it annoying. This is how it thinks:
"Fuck, they don't like me. They probably don't want to hang out with me. Man, they hate me. Like why don't they want to hang out? Are they doing something today? Lol, they just don't wanna hang out with me. Yeah, that's it."
Second brain, nO, THAT'S NOT IT. WTF?????
I've talked about this with my friend, Jess, and she said it perfectly, "I feel like everyone is out to get me." AND THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!! I read into things too much and fuck, it's so annoying. and it's not only that, i literally think about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. there's so much going on in my brain that it just gets exhausting.
but i don't really wanna talk about my two brains too much because well, guess what, I'LL READ TOO MUCH INTO IT. what i wanna talk about is my mind being my home. yeah, it's scary, but it's kinda nice. my mind is mine. no one else's. i can think about something and no one know i thought about it (unless my theory in someone, SOMEONE, in this world being able to mind read is true). it's just cool that your mind is one of the only things that's rightfully YOURS and no one can use/take/etc. it. sometimes you do want someone to take it away, we've all got our problems up in there (our brain [or brains]). but, personally, i think it's nice having something that's always with you. i'm treating my brains as if they're real objects, but seriously, they can be. anyways, that's the story of my two brains and i. =^^=
