(WARNING: I am sorry if the paragraphs and pictures look kinda off, I'm uploading this through my phone, but I shall fix it once I get on my laptop!! Oh and some paragraphs were written on different days so it may sound weird, but just rooollll with it.)
Hello my fellow angels!!! Hope you all are having fantastic days!! I just started spring break and so far I haven't done anything eventful, but that does not mean I haven't had fun staying home. I LOVE staying home these days because I just love my room. I think I've said it a million times, but I L O V E MY ROOM. It just has everything I want and need and gets my brain going and it's awesome. It sucks that I have to leave it at night because of my parents, but in the day I just look at it and want to do so many things!!!! Hopefully that's how I'll feel about my dorm room if I move out (which I most likely will AHHH). I won't be doing much this week, but working on my doodle book and going to visit the two schools that I might go to!!!!!! It's so exciting, but SOOOO terrifying at the same time.
Now here's a sad paragraph so if you don't want me to kill your mood..DON'T READ THIS!!! I have a little doodle book that I draw in, make collages, do little notes for myself, and I've also created a "sad" page. Whenever I'm upset I just write in it and do very sad doodles and i just looked back on it. Thankfully, it doesn't have much, it isn't full, but it just makes me upset that I can get THAT sad and that other people are depressed every.single.day. It just makes me so mad and upset that wonderful people have to deal with that. Why was sadness even created? Why was pain created? I understand WHY, but there's a certain extent that I just don't understand. It honestly SUCKS thinking about depression and people who deal with it on a daily basis. I'm so sorry if you are deal with that. I am so fucking sorry. I hope hope hope hope hope you find happiness as soon as possible. I don't like comparing my sadness to other's so I won't go on, but this is just what I have been thinking about.
Also my sister has been educating me on some vegan, very healthy foods lately because she has become a total health freak and so I've been exposed to that side. I have seen y'know random videos on vegan and what foods contain and why can't I pronounce the ingredients and such. I so badly want to become healthy and possibly vegetarian (vegan is super tough, I still gotta think about that), but it's super difficult to do that in a household where meat and non-organic products are a norm. Now I've never encountered this personally, BUT I have heard of vegans who CRITICIZE those who are NOT vegan and continue to eat meat from any grocery store and that makes me SO angry. Look, many (not all, I know) organic foods are expensive, suuuperrr pricey and personally, my family of currently 6 cannot afford those kinds of prices. I am SOOO sorry that my parents do not win enough to feed us vegan foods. And also, my parents, being Salvadorans, have been exposed to this ALL their life and so of course, naturally, they do that to us as well (feeding us anything). They never thought about how animals are treated and such because of their culture!!! Most of spanish-speaking countries are never exposed to that!!!! How do you expect us to all of a sudden change those habits?! It's SUPER difficult!!!!! I'm not saying we cannot try, which I certainly will once I move out, but DO NOT CRITICIZE those who are not vegan, INFORMING them is a much more friendly and compassionate form of educating those who are not vegan. If you're one those who do criticize us, stop. You are being ignorant and very unfair.
Well, I have finally gathered all of my colleges and i'm super upset at the moment. The schools that I have been denied from haven't really affected me, until I got my last letter. Yeah, it was a no, but a no from a school that wasn't even my top choice, but it has completely pushed me under the rug for some reason. I tried SO hard in high school and I end up with tears (not happy ones obviously). This sucks. It does. A lot. I know that this will all fall into place, I know. I know this won't matter later, I know that, but damn, it really fucking sucks. I just thought I would share that because I know a lot of teens read my blog and I just want to say, college moments suck, but they'll get better, even though right now, I don't believe that, but it will be.
So, since it's spring break obviously going out is obligated so my friend and I decided to explore the wonderful mess of the Orange Circle. I LOOOVVEEE this place because there are so many cool stores filled with random junk and it's just so awesome. Oh and we also went to this arboretum nearby so there's a picture here of that as well!!
We also decided to go to the beach this week as well so here's a picture of my friend looking supaaaaahhh cool!!!
2 comments:
Yeah for Spring Break! I love the lava lamps you made, and totally get what you mean about just chillin' in your room. I literally spent this entire day just sitting in my bed LOL It was so nice to be some place familiar after sharing a cramped dorm room for so many months.
And I understand what you mean about sadness. Sometimes I get into a funk and just feel depressed feelings, too. A lot of the time I write/run/play my guitar when that happens but I also read this verse which is actually pretty cool:
"He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains." ~ Psalm 107:14
P.S. The Orange Circle looks super rad, yo. Reminds me of a store I went to in St. Augustine that had all these wonderful little knick-knacks. Have a great Spring Break!
Luv your new layout <3 <3
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